OF FISH, FOOD AND FLU
by deetatarant
Summary: Jack tries to help.....never good!


Ianto had the flu...genuine...tedious ....boring....human flu. His nose was red and running, his eyes were sore , his face hurt and every time he coughed he sounded like a hairballing cat. There fore Ianto was miserable beyond belief but extremely grateful of the fact that Owen had actually been sympathetic enough to tell him stay in bed...for a week, maybe two...just don't fucking come anywhere near the Hub until you are cured as I don't want to get sick. That was about as far as his bedside manner went. Ianto was too ill to care, one way or the other. However Ianto also knew just how rubbish his colleagues were in a crisis that involved food or caffeine supplies and that day Ianto was supposed to be doing the Hub shop. Wanting to avoid a catastrophe the diligent young Welshman emailed his shopping list to Jack before retreating back to his bed.........

Jack,

RE: Hub supplies, please find attached list for Tesco and M&S.....Will try to get in by Tuesday....Owen permitting.

Ianto.

PS. Please stick to the list it is tried and tested.

In his office Jack chewed happily on his first snickers bar of the day as the list was printed out.....He'd already stopped by Benji's paper shop that morning and stocked up on a few chocolate bars in Ianto's absence. Ianto never bought him chocolate....

Jack examined the list rather closely and snorted with disgust....Tesco it was then. It had been while but he thought he could remember how.....

He grabbed his Great coat and Ianto's list and waved a cheery goodbye to Tosh and Owen as he left the Hub with a very reluctant Gwen in tow, mainly because he needed her car as he didn't like the idea of the SUV being parked in the Tesco carpark where any idiot could dent it.....

THE LIST

Fish....make sure it IS fresh not frozen......6 whole Salmon. Myfanwy won't eat anything else at the moment...I think she's a bit broody.

I've ordered from the butcher all the meat for the weevils it's under my name all you have to do is ask Geoff for Ianto Jones' order....You'll need a whole trolley for that and he thinks I run a dog kennels place so if he asks how the team are doing tell him the Huskies are fine........

Don't buy any coffee, use Starbuck's until I get back, please!!!!!

Fresh fruit get loads because we all eat it and it's healthy Jack....no chocolate or sweets or crisps.

Bottled water.

Fruit juice.....not the fermented variety.

NO chocolate biscuits....ok you can have some jaffa cakes.

Tins of soup....Owen likes chowder.....no one else is as fussy just don't get the value stuff whatever you do!

1 bar of 70percent dark chocolate (this is for Myfanwy).

Green Tea for Tosh.

Lemon Tea for Owen and Gwen.

Milk.....green top.

Dishwasher tablets.

Jack just gawped at the list and then looked at Gwen with abject horror on his face.

"Have you seen this?" he shoved it at her and Gwen read it through.

"It's what he normally gets." She responded not seeing the problem.

"There are treats.....for the dinosaur. What about us?"

Gwen smiled. "With all the takeaway crap we eat? I'm glad Ianto has the sense to get in some fresh food for us. Come on lets get this over with."

They didn't have six salmon so Jack got three and 10 cod fillets. He chatted up Geoff, who was actually rather handsome and was asking if Ianto was single, which soon put a damper on his flirting. In the second trolley as the first, which Gwen was now pushing, was full with dino/weevil fodder; Jack put in bags of oranges, bananas, apples, grapes, 2 pineapples, 4 melons, 3 tubs of strawberries and a bag of red plums. Gwen's eyes got steadily wider. Next came 30 packets of jaffa cakes....didn't want to run out of those. Ten bars of chocolate for the dinosaur and another 10 for other uses. The funny tea bags were also chucked in....4 pints of milk, a tub of whipped cream (Gwen's eyebrows shot up at that), 20 litres of freshly squeezed orange juice with bits, and 20 bottles of Evian. Jack looked at the over stuffed trolley.....Surely Ianto didn't do this every week? He then finally added 30 tins of soup in varying varieties and dishwasher tablets. Gwen watched the whole process in amused silence as Jack seemed to be immensely enjoying himself....

They got to the checkout and everything was scanned through. £183.17p. Jack froze and patted his pockets and smiled sheepishly at Gwen.

"I forgot the card."

In a gesture rather too similar to Ianto's to be healthy she rolled her eyes and handed over hers and told him she'd be paid back.....with interest!

When they had returned to the Hub and unloaded Gwen's car Jack retreated to his office and rang Ianto, feeling very pleased with himself.

"I did the shopping...as per your list."

Ianto's rather snotty sneezing could be heard and a rather indignant. "You woke me up to tell me that?"

Jack was grinning, Ianto always sounded rather cute when he was cross. "Yeah, there's a couple of added extras too, thought I'd bring them over tonight." Jack enthused thinking about melted chocolate, strawberries and whipped cream.

"Ok. Can I go back to sleep now?"

It was a quiet day so Jack sent everyone home early....God it happened so rarely they deserved the treat. He fed Myfanwy some cod and Janet a pile of steaks, had a shower changed into another set of chino's and a dark blue shirt. Checked his hair was perfect, set the remote rift alert and diverted it to Owen's mobile. Taking one last look around the Hub he grabbed his carrier bag full of goodies and walked to Ianto's flat.

Ianto awoke some two hours later, bleary eyed to the sight of Jack's face right up close to his....It was a scary sight, that 1000watt grin...way too bright. Ianto promptly sneezed, violently and messily. Jack pulled a disgusted face and ran to the bathroom to have another shower. He was back a while later, a towel round his waist and a concerned frown on his face.

"You really are sick aren't you?"

Ianto responded by flopping on to his back and making a sound that could've been speech as he blew his nose. He threw Jack a long suffering look with huge puppyish eyes.

Jack snuggled up beside him. "Shame really, I bought chocolate, strawberries and cream."

Ianto was worried now. "That's nice. What else...sniff.....did you.....sniff buy?"

"Oh, all the stuff on your list except they only had three salmon so I got cod as well." Jack was well pleased for his quick thinking.

Ianto however winced rather theatrically. "Cod?"

"Yep."

"I see, uhm...sniff...have you given her any of it yet?"

Jack nodded enthusiastically failing to note the edge to Ianto's flu filled tone. "She loved it, lapped it up. I couldn't give it to her fast enough."

Ianto nodded. "You do know that Cod gives her the runs, don't you....obviously not."

Jack froze. "The runs as in not meaning she can fly faster.....but as in.....oh."

"Yes. Oh." Ianto smiled to himself. "And no I won't be well enough to come into work tomorrow Jack. Owen told me to take at least a week. There's a spare brolley in the hall if you want to take that with you tomorrow."

"Ianto?"

"Yes Jack?"

"Can you give me a really sloppy snog and sneeze on me again?"

"I don't think that'll work on you Jack."


End file.
